Thursday, June 11, 2009

How my girlfriend got me pregnant

Since this is my first post I thought this would be a great time to tell you the story of how our family got started and how instead of living the life I had always planned for, I fell face first into this one.

It was the summer before my sophomore year of college, a long time ago, in a life I have almost forgotten. I was on my way to visit my friend who had called me up because she was facing a major dilemma. Since I was so mature and responsible at the very grown-up age of 18, I was rushing to her side to help her with the problem. Here is transcript of the conversation, to the best of my recollection:

Friend: I think I am pregnant will you go with me to get a pregnancy test?

Me: OK

Now standing in the middle of the store aisle.

Friend: Which one do you think I should get?

Me: Get this one, it's the cheapest. (pearls of wisdom, I told you I was mature)

Friend: OK, but I am going to get a double pack so you can take one, I don't want to do this alone.

Me: OK, if you want to waste your money.

There was no way I could have been pregnant because I had only done those kinds of grown-up things three times and all my friends had been doing it FOR YEARS. None of them had gotten pregnant because that only happens to the girls in the after school specials that they make you watch in gym class.

Now back to the house where I go first just to make her feel better and to prove that she has nothing to worry about.

Me: OK, I'm all done. It's your turn now.

Friend: What did it say?

Me: I don't know, I didn't bother to look at it because I know that I am not. I already told you remember?

She goes and looks at test.

Friend: You're pregnant.

What followed next was lots of denial, lots of money wasted on the better name brand more expensive tests, more denial, an expensive run to the doc in a box for a blood test (which is supposed to be more accurate and I was sure it would be negative), paid for with cash because I didn't want the claim to go on the parent's health insurance, some tears, more denial, a frantic call to the boyfriend, more tears, even more denial, the telling of the parents, WAY more denial, a runaway wedding, lots of swelling, some tears, the birth, more tears, the baby, tons of tears, and the hardest couple of years of my life honeymoon phase.

Now here we are almost twelve years, three kids, a degree, a house, and a dog later and the husband and I are still running scared going strong.

I almost forgot my friend still owes me lots of child support since it's her fault I got into this whole mess anyway. Oh yeah, in case you're wondering her test was negative.

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