Monday, June 29, 2009

Got milk?

On my way home today I saw a state trooper attempting to pull over a PT Cruiser on the interstate and the car just would not pull over. He had his car crammed full of junk and there is no way he could see out of the back window so I don't know if he just couldn't see or hear the lights blazing behind him or if he was some kind of outlaw making a run for it. Although I didn't see the driver I am pretty sure it was a man because if it were a smart woman she would have pulled over and used her secret weapons.

The first time I realized the importance of being a girl was on the night I graduated from high school and was driving home to pack for my upcoming graduation trip. I was going through a small town, doing about 75 in a 25 mile per hour zone, being very cautious as all teenagers are, when I saw the blue lights come up behind me. So I pulled over, panicking and praying that if I did get a ticket I could at least hide it from my dad until I came home from the beach. After all, I wouldn't want a silly thing like a little ticket to spoil all my future fun. Of course, I had never heard the phrase reckless driving before either so I really had no idea just how bad the situation could be.

As the state trooper approached my car I was fumbling through my purse frantically searching for my driver's license and hoping he would not ask for my registration. I had always seen on TV when people were pulled over they were asked to show their license and registration and I had no idea what in the world registration even was much less where I would find it.

Thankfully as he walked up he just asked for the license as he shone a flashlight into the car. I guess he noticed my cap and gown in the passenger seat and asked if I had been at some kind of a graduation. I told him yes, I had just graduated and explained that I was on my way home to get my stuff because I was leaving for a trip in a couple of hours. He then proceeded to shine the light at what I thought was my face, and asked if I had been drinking. That's when I realized just exactly where the light was shining.

Of course officer you would be looking there because all teenage girls hide their flasks in their bra.

I told him I had not, as I stuck my bottom lip out trying to look all helpless thinking maybe that would help me get out of the predicament. Then he hits me with the phrase reckless driving and starts talking about court, tickets, blah, blah, blah. All I could think of was my upcoming vacation, my first ever parent-free trip, going up in smoke when I had to tell my dad about all the money this was going to cost him.

His light was still searching for the bottle of liquor he assumed I had shoved down my dress when I just slightly leaned forward and begged for mercy. I would like to say that I was just very persuasive but I am sure the fact that I was much younger, thinner and my wardrobe still had the theme less is more didn't hurt either. He let me go with a stern warning and a valuable lesson.

Never underestimate the power of the boobies.


  1. the boobies hold all the power!!!!!!

  2. I'm fairly certain my boobs have gotten me out of my last 4 speeding violations.

    Well, that and my winning personality. ;)